Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Sacred Texts. Legends and Sagas. Note this is a transcript of the movie produced. Obviously the original is copyrighted and anyone. Monty Python is a looney. The strictly unofficial script of the movie, done in a fit of boredom by AHH. Jan. 87 Touched up again by AHH 2. Jan. 89 How time flies Fixed by FDW and SAW. October 9. 4. Hypertext by SAW in November 9. Watch full Rugrats in Paris The Movie online full HD. Cartoon movies Rugrats in Paris The Movie online for free in HD. The film opens with a parody of Paramounts 1972. The strictly unofficial script of the movie, done in a fit of boredom by AHH 01Jan87 Touched up again by AHH 25Jan89 How time flies Fixed by FDW and SAW in. An adventurous girl, a young blind hermit, and a goofy twoheaded dragon race to find the lost sword Excalibur to save King Arthur and Camelot from disaster. Catch up on all the latest TV news, photos, videos, and opinion. Watch A Knight In Camelot Online Full Movie' title='Watch A Knight In Camelot Online Full Movie' />Note The script ends with the words. Contents The Castin order of appearance roughly. KING ARTHUR Graham Chapman. PATSY Terry Gilliam. GUARD 1 Michael Palin. GUARD 2 John Cleese. MORTICIAN Eric Idle. CUSTOMER John Cleese. DEAD PERSON DENNIS Michael Palin. WOMAN Terry Jones. You can watch movies online for free and in English. IMDb listing with summary, user comments, reviews, rating, and cast and crew credits. BLACK KNIGHT John Cleese. VILLAGER 1 Eric Idle. VILLAGER 2 Michael Palin. SIR BEDEMIR Terry Jones. WITCH VILLAGER 3 John Cleese. NARRATOR Michael Palin. SIR LAUNCELOT John Cleese. SIR GALAHAD Michael Palin. SIR ROBIN Eric Idle. TyZnK531-P3QtUa_zaS8arkZ0E=/440x550/v1.bjs3OTYwOTk7ajsxNzUxNDsxMjAwOzQ0MDs1NTA' alt='Watch A Knight In Camelot Online Full Movie' title='Watch A Knight In Camelot Online Full Movie' />GOD FRENCH GUARD John Cleese. MINSTREL LEFT HEAD Terry Jones. MIDDLE HEAD Graham Chapman. Watch The Butcher, The Chef, And The Swordsman Online Hitfix. RIGHT HEAD Michael Palin. OLD MAN Terry Gilliam. HEAD KNIGHT OF NEE Michael Palin. FATHER Michael Palin. PRINCE HERBERT Terry Jones. GUARD 1 Eric Idle. GUARD 2 CONCORDE Eric Idle. OLD CRONE ROGER THE SHRUBBER Eric Idle. TIM THE ENCHANTER John Cleese. BROTHER MAYNARD Eric Idle. SECOND BROTHER Michael Palin. ARTHUR Whoa there GUARD 1 Halt Who goes there ARTHUR It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle. Camelot. King of the Britons, defeator of the Saxons, sovereign. England GUARD 1 Pull the other one ARTHUR I am. And this my trusty servant Patsy. We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights. Camelot. I must speak with your lord. GUARD 1 What, ridden on a horse ARTHUR Yes GUARD 1 Youre using coconutsARTHUR What GUARD 1 Youve got two empty halves of coconut and youre bangin. ARTHUR So We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this. Mercea, through. GUARD 1 Whered you get the coconut ARTHUR We found them. GUARD 1 Found them In Mercea The coconuts tropical ARTHUR What do you mean GUARD 1 Well, this is a temperate zone. ARTHUR The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin. GUARD 1 Are you suggesting coconuts migrate ARTHUR Not at all, they could be carried. GUARD 1 What a swallow carrying a coconut ARTHUR It could grip it by the husk GUARD 1 Its not a question of where he grips itIts a simple. A five ounce bird could not carry a 1 pound. ARTHUR Well, it doesnt matter. Will you go and tell your master. Arthur from the Court of Camelot is here. GUARD 1 Listen, in order to maintain air speed velocity, a swallow. ARTHUR Please GUARD 1 Am I right ARTHUR Im not interested GUARD 2 It could be carried by an African swallow GUARD 1 Oh, yeah, an African swallow maybe, but not a European. GUARD 2 Oh, yeah, I agree with that. ARTHUR Will you ask your master if he wants to join my court. Camelot GUARD 1 But then of course African swallows are not migratory. GUARD 2 Oh, yeah. GUARD 1 So they couldnt bring a coconut back anyway. GUARD 2 Wait a minute supposing two swallows carried it together GUARD 1 No, theyd have to have it on a line. GUARD 2 Well, simple Theyd just use a standard creeper GUARD 1 What, held under the dorsal guiding feathers GUARD 2 Well, why notMORTICIAN Bring out your dead Bring out your dead Bring out your deadBring out your dead Bring out your dead Bring out your dead Bring out your dead Bring out your dead Bring out your deadBring out your dead Bring out your dead Bring out your dead CUSTOMER Heres one nine pence. DEAD PERSON Im not dead MORTICIAN What CUSTOMER Nothing heres your nine pence. DEAD PERSON Im not dead MORTICIAN Here he says hes not dead CUSTOMER Yes, he is. DEAD PERSON Im not MORTICIAN He isnt. CUSTOMER Well, he will be soon, hes very ill. DEAD PERSON Im getting betterCUSTOMER No, youre not youll be stone dead in a moment. MORTICIAN Oh, I cant take him like that its against regulations. DEAD PERSON I dont want to go in the cart CUSTOMER Oh, dont be such a baby. MORTICIAN I cant take him. DEAD PERSON I feel fine CUSTOMER Oh, do us a favor. MORTICIAN I cant. CUSTOMER Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes He wont. MORTICIAN Naaah, I got to go on to Robinsons theyve lost nine. CUSTOMER Well, when is your next roundMORTICIAN Thursday. DEAD PERSON I think Ill go for a walk. CUSTOMER Youre not fooling anyone yknow. Look, isnt there. DEAD PERSON I feel happy. I feel happy. CUSTOMER Ah, thanks very much. MORTICIAN Not at all. See you on Thursday. CUSTOMER Right. clop clop. MORTICIAN Whos that then CUSTOMER I dont know. MORTICIAN Must be a king. CUSTOMER Why MORTICIAN He hasnt got shit all over him. ARTHUR Old woman DENNIS Man ARTHUR Old Man, sorry. What knight live in that castle over there DENNIS Im thirty seven. ARTHUR What DENNIS Im thirty seven Im not old ARTHUR Well, I cant just call you Man. DENNIS Well, you could say Dennis. ARTHUR Well, I didnt know you were called Dennis. DENNIS Well, you didnt bother to find out, did you ARTHUR I did say sorry about the old woman, but from the behind. DENNIS What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior ARTHUR Well, I AM king. DENNIS Oh king, eh, very nice. An howd you get that, eh By. If theres ever going to be any progress. WOMAN Dennis, theres some lovely filth down here. Oh how dyou do ARTHUR How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, King of the Britons. Whos castle is thatWOMAN King of the who ARTHUR The Britons. WOMAN Who are the Britons ARTHUR Well, we all are. Britons and I am your king. WOMAN I didnt know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous. DENNIS Youre fooling yourself. Were living in a dictatorship. A self perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes. WOMAN Oh there you go, bringing class into it again. DENNIS Thats what its all about if only people would. ARTHUR Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives. WOMAN No one live there. ARTHUR Then who is your lord WOMAN We dont have a lord. ARTHUR What DENNIS I told you. Were an anarcho syndicalist commune. We take. it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week. ARTHUR Yes. DENNIS But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified. ARTHUR Yes, I see. DENNIS By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,. ARTHUR Be quiet DENNIS but by a two thirds majority in the case of more. Watch Rebel Without A Cause Full Movie. Watch Katt Williams: Its Pimpin Pimpin` Youtube. ARTHUR Be quiet I order you to be quiet WOMAN Order, eh who does he think he is ARTHUR I am your king WOMAN Well, I didnt vote for you. ARTHUR You dont vote for kings. WOMAN Well, ow did you become king then ARTHUR The Lady of the Lake. Excalibur. from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I. Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. That is why I am your kingDENNIS Listen strange women lying in ponds distributing swords. Supreme executive power. ARTHUR Be quiet DENNIS Well you cant expect to wield supreme executive power. ARTHUR Shut up DENNIS I mean, if I went around sayin I was an empereror just. ARTHUR Shut up Will you shut up DENNIS Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system. ARTHUR Shut up DENNIS OhCome and see the violence inherent in the system HELP HELP Im being repressed ARTHUR Bloody peasantDENNIS Oh, what a give away. Did you here that, did you here that. Thats what Im on about did you see him repressing me. ARTHUR You fight with the strength of many men, Sir knight. I am Arthur, King of the Britons. I seek the finest and the bravest knights in the land to join me. Court of Camelot. You have proved yourself worthy will you join meYou make me sad.